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Beyond The Grave

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Gerard's POV
They lowered the coffin into the ground, and began to shovel dirt on top. I flinched as my mom, Donna, placed her hand on my shoulder. Mikey, my younger brother gripped my hand, his blunt nails somehow dug deep into my pale skin. Tears flooded my cheeks as I watched him go. I was only sixteen and had just lost my best friend…more importantly he was only fifteen and he was gone, forever, because some stupid fuckin idiot raped him, beat him and left him to die in a park all alone. He was helpless. He wasn’t supposed to lose it like that. We were meant to do that together. Frank was the only guy I ever fell in love with. The guy who helped me realise I was gay. “This isn’t fuckin fair,” I sobbed aloud to mom. “Shh, I know baby I know,” she whispered, wrapping her arm around my waist. I was crying loudly and uncontrollably now, capturing the attention of nearly everyone attending the funeral. Linda, Frank’s mom stood behind me, placing her arms over my shoulders and hugging me from behind, lightly kissing the back of my raven black hair. I continued to stare into nothingness as people placed flowers on the fresh mound of soil. “Gee, it’s okay.” Linda said softly. “I know this may seem weird, but I know he loved you and he wanted to lose his virginity to you.” Her comment made my body go stiff, she couldn’t be serious. “Really?” I asked disbelievingly. “Yes,” she whispered. “Frankie loved you. He told me the night you two fell in love…it’s beautiful Gee.” She whispered. I could tell my mum was listening in, staring at Linda and me, her eyes wide with surprise but she was smiling. I spun around in Linda’s arms and faced her, Mikey’s grip loosened and his hand fell from my arm, as he stood by mom. I wrapped my arms tightly around Linda, crying hysterically into her chest as she pulled me close to her. “It’s okay baby, come on, let it out,” Linda said, in attempt to comfort me before falling into her own world of sadness, joining me in making a scene.  “Gee, it I’ll be okay,” mom assured. I knew she was only trying to help, but nothing would be okay now.

~~*~~

I lay in bed the day after the funeral, staring at the ceiling that was covered in pictures of me and Frankie. I was then reminded of what Linda said about the night we fell in love. It was beautiful. I thought. It was on a Friday and I was at Frankie’s. We were watching horror movies and drinking soda. He told me he had feelings for this friend and asked if he should go after that friend. I nodded, I was oblivious to the fact he was talking about me…not until…until he pushed his lips against mine and pulled away panicking at what he thought I might do. I just smiled and kissed him, he tangled his fingers in my messy hair and we made out. He wanted to sleep with me too. I pushed him away and said he wasn’t ready. I told him he wasn’t ready, he begged me and begged me but I turned him down. It was also the first time he said ‘I love you.’ But I didn’t return the words. I never got to tell him what he meant to me.

Tears slid down my cheeks and I rolled over, burying my face in my pillow, struggling to deafen my loud sobs that were escaping from my throat. The thought was too much. I needed him back. “Gee,” a voice whispered. I turned around to see a small skinny shadow at the bottom of the stairs to my basement bedroom. “Mikes?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay Gerard?”
I stayed silent hoping he would get the message that I really wasn’t okay. “Do you mind if….um…Gee, can I sleep with you in your bed?”
“No, please just…just leave. I need to be alone,” I protested. Mikey ignored me any way and slipped under the covers next to me, cuddling close to me, laying his head in the crook of my neck wrapping an arm across my stomach. “You miss him don’t you?”
“You fuckin think,” I spat back sarcastically.
“I loved him Mikey and I never even got to tell him how I feel. It’s entirely my fault that he’s dead.”
“No it’s not Gerard. You can’t blame yourself.”
“Yes...I can. If I hadn’t of turned down the date with Frank, he wouldn’t have had to walk home by himself and he never would have been murdered. It’s entirely my fault,” I cried.
“Gee,” Mikey whispered, rubbing my arm in an attempt to comfort me. “It’s not your fault.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, it fuckin isn’t. Would you please just stop this? The whole ‘it’s my fault’ thing, it’s not your fault.
“Yes it actually is. Frank’s death is my fault. There I said it…ENTIRELY MY FAULT!” I screamed. Mikey stared at me, a look of shock swept across his face. He cuddled in closer and kissed my cheek. “I love you Gee. Everything is going to be ok.”
“I love you too Mikey,” I whispered and we drifted off to sleep.

That morning I woke up in tears, my body trembling with fright. Mikey was still asleep breathing quietly, cuddled up to my chest. I carefully unwrapped his arms from my torso, leaving him in my bed while I walked to the bathroom. Tears were still streaming down my face, my eyes red and puffy. I turned on the water, and placed my hands under the faucet, splashing water on my face. I grabbed the face towel and wiped the water from my face, running a hand through my hair. “What’s wrong,” Mikey whispered.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. “Don’t sneak up on me. Why are you crying?”
“Why are you?” he asked.
“Come on, Mikey. What’s wrong? Tell me and I’ll tell you.”
“You’re my big brother Gee, I’m worried about you.”
“Oh Mikes,” I said, holding my arms open for a hug. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, I just had a dream about Frankie,” I sobbed hugging my little brother tight against me. “”Just, don’t worry about me Mikey, I’ll be okay.”
I had to admit it was kinda cute, seeing him cry, having my little brother so worried about me. “But Gerard,” he cried. “You, you’re crying, I have to be worried about you, I love you and I hate seeing you upset.”
“Mikey, everything is going to be okay, I’m going to be okay. Just, don’t get to upset. Everything will be fine.”
“No it won’t. You can’t lie to me, Frank is DEAD! He’s never coming back…you’ll never be okay!” Mikey yelled.
“Get the fuck out. Stay away from me. How dare you say that? How could you ever say that to me?” Tears were pouring from my face. I stormed off to my room, slamming the door and flopping down onto my bed, crying loudly and uncontrollably.

~*~

Mikey’s POV
I felt really bad about yesterday, but someone had to tell him. He couldn’t sit around the house all day pretending that everything was okay and that Frank would come back. The truth was everything was a terrible mess because of a horrific event and Frankie would never come back. It was the truth and as much as it hurt him he had to face it. I had to make it up to him. I didn’t know how. I got up from my bed, still in my pyjamas and walked to his room. I knocked lightly and opened it carefully, half-expecting to be screamed at. Instead he just turned around and stared at me. He was drawing Frank. At least a dozen sketches of Frank were stuck to his wall. I had never seen him draw frank this much and to be honest it kinda scared me.
“Gerard…what are you doing?”
Gerard stayed silent and just stared at me in disgust. Then again…I couldn’t blame him. I was way out of line. “Gerard, please talk to me, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I was out of line. I didn’t mean to snap. Please just talk to me Gee. You’re my brother, I want to help you,”
“Help…you want to help me!” He yelled. How can you help me? You said it yourself…I will never be okay and you’re right. I lost the most important person in the world. The one I care about the most and he doesn’t even know I love him. I never got to tell him. You have no fuckin idea how much that hurts. You really don’t Mikes. You screaming at me and telling me that, just makes everything a lot worse…you couldn’t begin to imagine how I feel,” he continued, tears streaming down his face like a waterfall.
“I’m sorry,”
“You’re sorry, get out,”
“Gerard, just listen,”
“What’s going on?” Mom called, now standing behind Mikey.
“Just leave me the fuck alone Mikey, get out,”
“Language!” Mom snapped.
“I don’t care, if you had any idea what Mikey said to me last night, maybe you would understand. Mikey GET OUT!” he screamed.

Gerard’s POV
Mikey left, and I fell from my chair to the floor, tears and shakes racking my body. Mom walked over and placed her hand on my back, rubbing it soothingly. “What did he say? Honey…baby, tell me please. I want to listen, I’m here for you,”
“You’ll think it is kind of weird,”
“I heard you and Linda at the funeral. Whatever you tell me, I will be okay with it,”
“Well I never told you about how I found out I was gay and I never told you about the night he died,” I sniffed, trying to control the sobs.
“What’s to tell? Please, Gee…tell me. I wanna know,”
“The night he came over and we watched movies, was…when he told me that he loved me…I n-never told him that I l-loved him. The night that…he got…you know…murdered, it was my fault,”
“Baby you can’t say that….how is it your fault?”
“We had a date and I cancelled while Frank was walking over and it happened while he walked home. If I didn’t cancel he would still be alive, he would still be okay. It’s entirely my fault,”
“Baby, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me? Maybe I could have done something to help you,”
“There’s nothing you could have done,”

~*~

I stayed on the floor, for a few hours after my mom left. She brought me coffee and food, but I just drunk the coffee. I couldn’t eat…I didn’t want to eat. It hurt too much to eat or draw, everything I did reminded me of him.  I stood up and walked slowly to my bed, before I heard talking coming from the lounge. “What the fuck?” I said allowed. It sounded like Linda…crying. I unlocked my door and headed towards the lounge. Standing there was Linda and my mom hugging someone. I couldn’t tell. Their face was buried against her chest in a tight hug. “Linda, hey. What’s wrong?”
“Hey Gee, don’t worry its fine,”
“Hi baby,” Mom whispered, still clutching on to the person in her grip, with tears in her eyes.
“Mom what is it?”
“I have something to tell you,”
“What?” I asked worriedly. She released her hug and a short boy with dark hair faced me, a small sly smile forming on his lips. “Frank!” I blinked multiple times. I had to be seeing things.
“Hey,” he smiled.
“When…how…why? What the fuck is t-t-this?” I stammered.
“He….he came back last night,” Linda began to explain. “Remember on the news it said some kids had been mysteriously rising?” I nodded…I remembered. “He came back,” she continued. Tears welled up in my eyes and started to pour down my red cheeks. I turned and sprinted to my room, slamming the door behind me, flopping down onto my bed, my head buried deep within my pillow.

Franks POV
I walked after Gerard as fast as I could…which honestly wasn’t very fast. I stood in front of his door and I could hear him sob. If I had a heart, it would have stopped from hearing that. I thought chuckling quietly to myself. I gripped the door handle loosely and opened it slowly, peering into Gerards room. Drawings of me were stuck to the wall by his desk, drawings I had never seen before. Photos of us were still stuck on his ceiling. I was surprised to see he didn’t tear them down. “Gee-baby…why are you crying? Talk to me,”
He turned to face me, his cheeks a bright red. “You didn’t come to me first. You came back last night and you’re only seeing me now!” he screamed. I jumped at the sound of him yelling, I had never heard him so loud and honestly it scared me.
“I’m sorry, I needed to my mom. I begged her to see you last night. I wanted to see you so much. She told me I had to wait until the morning,” I tried explaining.
“Why would you want to see me? I am the reason you died,”
“How?”
“If I didn’t cancel our date…you…you would have been ok,” he cried desperately. I walked over, sitting next to him, placing my cold hand on his face. “It’s not your fault. I love you and I could never blame you,”
“I never got to tell you how I felt about you before you died. You told me that you loved me Frankie…I never replied,”
“I know, it’s okay,” I soothed.
“No, it’s fuckin not,” Gerard spat.
“Then tell me now, tell me how you feel. I want to know your feelings,”
“I love you, I always have, I just…I never got to tell you. I do Frankie, I love you with everything and every day I regret not telling you the night you told me. I wanted it to be you…it was meant to be us. You were meant to be mine…never with…with…”
“I know,” I whispered. “I wanted it to be you. Now we can be together forever, Gee. Just you and me,”
“We can’t be together forever, you’re dead! You’re not going to age,”
“I know, but we can still be together,”

Gerard’s POV
“I love you but we can’t,”
“Yes,”
For the first time I sat there examining him. His cold, pale, lifeless skin, purple bags lay under his eyes. I slid my hands along the hem of his shirt, carefully lifting it to reveal the blue and black bruises and cuts that caressed his torso.
“Baby, these are terrible,”
“They won’t heal,”
I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his…the ice cold touch making me shiver. We pulled apart. “We need to be together…wait here,” I said, rushing off to the kitchen. I grabbed the knife and snuck back towards the room. “What are you doing Gerard!” Frankie exclaimed.
“We have to be together forever. I want you,”
I placed the knife to my wrist, digging deep into the flesh as I pulled it along my wrist.
“Gerard…NO!”

~*~

Franks POV
“He wasn’t supposed to die,” I sobbed. “It’s my fault. I could have stopped him,”
“Don’t blame yourself,” my mom said. You couldn’t have done anything,”
We sat on his bed, crying…I couldn’t leave. “Honey, let’s go,” my mother suggested.
“No, I am staying,”
“Fine, I’m out here if you need me,” she whispered, leaving me alone in Gerard’s room.

~*~

I lay on Gerard’s bed, staring blankly at the photos of us when I heard a tap against the window. I looked over to see a dark shadow. I stood from the bed and paced to window, unlocking it and pushing it open. “Gerard! What are doing here?”
“I rose, just like you. Now we can be together forever,” he smiled. “Let me in the front door,”
I nodded and ran out of the room to the front door, Mom and Donna followed behind me. “Frank, what is it sweetie?” Donna asked curiously.
“It’s Gerard,”
I opened the door. Gerard stood there nervously, a big smile on his face. “I’m home,”
“Oh Gerard, I hoped you’d come back,” Mom smiled, hugging me tight. I could feel it, but it wasn’t all that much of a feeling. My body felt numb and now I finally knew and understood how Frank felt. My mom released me from her bear hug, Frankie then attacking me too.
“I’m so glad you came back. I was worried you wouldn’t,” Linda admitted. “I’ll leave you two alone to discuss whatever need be discussed.” She smiled.

I grabbed Franks hand and we walked hand-in-hand to my bedroom. “How long have you stayed here?”
“About two days,” Frankie blushed. “I couldn’t leave,” he added, sitting on my bed. I sat next to him, our cold bodies side by side.
“Why did you do it? Why did you have to die?”
“Frankie…”
“Yeah…”
“You told me you loved me, do you remember that?”
“Yes. So, what?”
“I eventually told you how I felt. I know you meant it when you wanted us to be together forever, so I did that,”
“I never meant like this,” he argued.
“I know,”
“You shouldn’t have,” Frank whispered, grabbing my arm and running his thumbs along the edge of the broken skin. “You didn’t have to become a zombie to be with me,”
I leaned in kissing him. “Before I told you how I felt…sometimes I just wanted to run away. Now we can be together, us against the world.”
“Hey, don’t change your mind. You can run away with me anytime you want,” Frank whispered, kissing my lips once more.
Happy Ieroween. It's not that good, I started months ago, then realised i could write another one for Ieroween. If i get time i will edit it. and make it better. :)
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